It’s usually the first question I get from people when I say I’m getting married, “have you found a dress” well yes I’ve found a dress, I’ve actually found many. But that THE dress moment you hear about, where you get flutters and everyone around you breaks into a sob, well that hasn’t happened.

To be fair I’ve not done things the traditional way, but there’s a lot of non-tradition in our wedding day so that is just a given. I did try the typical wedding dress shop with my bridesmaid. We walked round giddy and picked out 5 beautiful dresses to try. And there was one, and I stepped in it and felt like princess. Me, a princess? But there was still 1 or 2 things that weren’t quite right so my friend took some pics and I went home to think about it. I got home and the pics came through, and I looked…. hideous! The mirrors in the dress shop must be warped because in the photos my short body looked 2 foot shorter and the shape just did nothing for me.

Take 2, high street. So my dress budget is small. Not because we don’t have the money but simply because I refuse to spend thousands on a dress I’ll wear once, I was convinced the high street could offer something just as good for a fraction of the price. I found it! The exact dress I’d imagined, there for £90. I bought it, I loved it, I took it to show my sister, she hated it. Now I’m not one to care what people think normally, but her words made sense, it looked cheap, the seam was visible and the material slightly see through. I told her I didn’t care, I still loved it. But after looking at the photos more and more I changed my mind, It was no longer the dress.

Take 3, online. I’d heard about these online shops that do custom sized dresses for a fraction of the price of bridal shops. It was a huge risk, but the reviews were good and I couldn’t really see what my other options were, so here we go. After about a month, it arrived. I took it out the box and it was stunning. I couldn’t believe I’d got wedding dress like this for £150. I tried it on… the dress was lovely. The beading was delicate, it was surprisingly well made and it had a lace detail back to die for. I looked horrible. Well maybe not horrible this time, but so out of place. As a 5ft0, young looking, flat chested women, it made me look and certainly feel, like a child playing dress up. Sure it’s the biggest day of your life and you have one opportunity to wear something extravagant. But I didn’t want that, I just wanted to feel like me, like the person my fiancee asked to marry.

It was at this point I wanted to give up. Elope in a pair of jeans and a white tee, but we didn’t, although we discussed it, so I kept looking. I knew I wanted something white/ivory and something long, other than that I just wanted to feel myself. Surely there had to be a shop out there selling a white, long, non-wedding dress. I found it. I loved it. It arrived today. I’m guessing the postman had no idea it was my potential wedding dress he was squeezing and forcing through my letterbox. I unwrapped it and smiled. I ran upstairs, grumpy baby in arms to try it on and I looked…. like me! Like me but in a wedding dress… Oh my god is this it?? Well for now it is. The dress is beautiful. It needs some slight alterations around the sides to accommodate what’s lacking up top, but it is long, it is white and it is most deffintly me…. let’s hope I don’t change my mind.